Jul 24th 2013, vs Hanshin

July 24th, 2013

Hanshin Tigers  12

Tokyo Swallows 0

Streak: Lost 5   Last 5: LLLLL

(Jingu Stadium)

W: Messenger (9-4); L: Yagi (2-7)

At least the All-Star break didn’t ruin Tokyo’s momentum. Clearly, dear reader, you did something terrible because the baseball gods have made me subject you to the following.

It’s gory – get the kids out of the room.

 Hanshin Tokyo
1Nishioka (2B)1Yamada (2B)
2Shunsuke (CF)2Ueda (CF)
3Toritani (SS)3Milledge (LF)
4Murton (LF)4Balentien (RF)
5Arai T. (1B)5Kawabata (3B)
6Imanari (RF)6Hatakeyama (1B)
7Arai R. (3B)7Morioka (SS)
8Fujii (C)8Aikawa (C)
9Messenger (P)9Yagi (P)
RPBoyer, MatsudaRPMatsuoka, Matsui, Emura, Abe

The carnage came in two big bursts. Here goes:

Top of the first: Shunsuke walked, then stole second. Murton walked. Two outs, runners on first and second. Then shit bubbled up out of the earth. Arai: RBI single. Imanari: two-RBI double. Arai R.: Two-run homer. 5-0 Hanshin.

Top of the seventh: Toritani knocked and RBI triple. Matsuoka walked Murton. Then, with two outs, Asai (in for Imanari) walked, setting up Arai R. for a grand slam. 11-0 Hanshin.

Top of the eighth: Shunsuke hit an RBI triple. 12-0 Hanshin, Final.

“But what did the Swallows do?” You might reasonably ask. Unicorn dick, that’s what. Not even a comedy of errors – just an inability to pitch, hit, or field. The only problem is that those three things are generally considered to be important to baseball success – almost as important as having a large of number of cheerleaders and mascots.

You’d be wise to place a bet on tomorrow’s game – I’d just hate to say what the wise bet would be.

  • Dr. No

    Wow, not since the 1992 Red Sox have i been the fan of such a bad team. They had a .451 win %. Right now the 鳥たち have a .460 percentage. But this team feels much worse.

    • Rob

      Yeah, it’s so bad they’re… not playing walk-up music anymore?